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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Eliot's LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Thursday, May 11th, 2006
    7:42 pm
    Updating so it doesn't delete due to inactivity!
    EA Sports Fight Night Round 3 makes me wish I were born a woman so I could have sex with things.
    Wednesday, June 16th, 2004
    6:51 pm
    Boom!
    Tough actin' Tinactin!
    Monday, October 13th, 2003
    7:09 pm
    Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and that one hermaphrodite standing in the back:

    My new LiveJournal is Cirrhosis
    Saturday, October 11th, 2003
    10:24 pm
    The Lost Boys Know (Final Draft)
    Fast kids in cars
    Your kid's gonna be next
    To chew you up
    And swallow you whole
    And meet your exit soul

    Growin' up fast
    We've all got jackboots now
    We're movin' out
    To find our crowns
    And meet our selves again

    But if you ever want to
    Follow your way back
    To last year's come and gone
    Know you're too far gone

    And last memory
    I have of me
    Was something a bit old
    Yeah, one last piece
    More for me
    It's something a bit old

    Masterpieces on a high-wire
    Fallen angels down below
    And all they were
    All they desire
    All they are is me
    I let them down, as they did me

    But if you ever want to
    Follow your way back
    To last year's come and gone
    You know you're too far gone

    Know me, for all I am
    Hear me, for I’m deafening
    Know your demons
    They’re all you are
    All you are lies in your ghouls

    Growin' up fast
    We've all got jackboots now
    We're movin' out
    To find our crowns
    And meet our selves again
    Thursday, October 9th, 2003
    1:47 pm
    Man, I never would've thought I would say this, but, "OMG!! THA IZ SOOOO MEE!!"
    OMG!!! THAT TURDEL IZ SOOOO MEE!!! LYK OMG!!!!!!1one" and so on and so forth. Eat shit.

    You are Raphael!
    You are Raphael...People call you a cynic. You
    prefer the term, "realist." You are
    tough as nails and anti-social. You are the
    coolest turtle in my humble opinion :)


    Which Ninja Turtle Are You?
    brought to you by Quizilla



    Heh, it's like Paige, too. Except Paige isn't tough. She's cute. *prepares to get kicked*
    Wednesday, October 8th, 2003
    8:10 pm
    Morphine Man
    Winter's straight edge
    A lonely snow shower
    Only around your muse
    Only around your mistake
    Like the face of death
    Staring down your throat
    Only around your muse
    Only around you

    Men in lemon lab coats
    Trapping thunder
    Leaning together
    And short of breath
    Screaming at the weather
    It never quits raining

    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    Only around her fuse
    Only around her fire
    She thought she saw God
    In each that brushed her face
    Only around her fuse
    Only around her

    Men in lemon lab coats
    Trapping thunder
    Leaning together
    And short of breath
    Screaming at the weather
    It never quits raining

    She drags her energy
    With her where she goes
    She keeps it on her leash
    And her back is so cold
    She drags it behind her
    She snows in the wind

    Men in lemon lab coats
    Trapping thunder
    Leaning together
    And short of breath
    Screaming at the weather
    It never quits raining

    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her


    In this underworld
    She really did see God
    It wasn’t in her desire
    But full of rosy cheeks
    She never would’ve thought
    The snow would fall here
    But where there’s cold, there’s fire
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    She crossed the Phantom river
    To a land of slivered ghosts
    An island of dry lizard skin
    A king of kingdom come

    In her underworld
    Her walls bled with birth
    If not in leaky wisdom
    Then in fabled ghosts
    It was here that she learned
    The snow only falls once
    And where there’s ghosts, there’s spirit
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    She flew to burning mountains
    To a peak of burning fuel
    Sky of crimson sufferings
    A king of kingdom come

    In my underworld
    I wish she would fall
    Into arms of child-birth
    Borne three times again
    In the future she will find
    It’s too warm for snow
    And where there’s birth, there’s women
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    Ascending to a plain sky
    A plane on clouds of dust
    Over land of new beginnings
    Future love and mistrust


    As growing old she weakens
    But strengthens her own soul
    And it’s here her discovery
    Is misplaced by thoughts of old
    And founded through God and love
    She thought she was God
    Toying with the bastards
    Of her own misaligned thought
    She thinks she’s gone insane
    She struggles with a new sum
    And choking on escape
    On the threshold of freedom
    She thinks of all the sheep
    Lambs, and billy-goats
    That couldn’t find truth in her
    That couldn’t seek her truth
    She knows they will know her
    She knows they will kill her
    She’s not afraid of what’s next
    She’s not afraid of dark waters
    With a kiss on revenge’s head
    She does what she’s been told
    And only when she wakes up
    Will she find her new cold


    In this underworld
    She really did see God
    It wasn’t in her desire
    But full of rosy cheeks
    She never would’ve thought
    The snow would fall here
    But where there’s cold, there’s fire
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    She crossed the Phantom river
    To a land of slivered ghosts
    An island of dry lizard skin
    A king of kingdom come

    In her underworld
    Her walls bled with birth
    If not in leaky wisdom
    Then in fabled ghosts
    It was here that she learned
    The snow only falls once
    And where there’s ghosts, there’s spirit
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    She flew to burning mountains
    To a peak of burning fuel
    Sky of crimson sufferings
    A king of kingdom come

    In my underworld
    I wish she would fall
    Into arms of child-birth
    Borne three times again
    In the future she will find
    It’s too warm for snow
    And where there’s birth, there’s women
    Where there’s God, there’s death

    Ascending to a plain sky
    A plane on clouds of dust
    Over land of new beginnings
    Future love and mistrust


    It’s not the truth that scares her
    But the thought that brings her down
    If it’s not true, what can she live for?
    If it’s not real, then what is truth?
    And her demons can surely have her
    Her ghouls can gladly eat her

    She sleeps not to her own hand
    But to the hand of herself

    With a blurry grievance to her own
    She thinks of what she lost
    She knows he won’t be there
    But she knows he will wait
    And her demons can surely have her
    Her ghouls can gladly eat

    She sleeps not to her own hand
    But to the hand of herself

    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her
    She counted each flake
    That fell inside her.
    Friday, October 3rd, 2003
    8:34 pm
    HASH(0x84fea74)
    Seer


    The ULTIMATE personality test
    brought to you by Quizilla


    Which reminds me; you're gay, but you don't know it yet.
    3:02 pm
    Martyrdom
    This is how the world will fold
    In such majestic pre-show
    Like all we want, all we crave
    And the little girl we aim
    To please
    I've shown them how names will grow
    Chew them up, spit them out whole
    With dagger teeth on their grave
    For the little girl we aim
    To please
    Fighting for a record, skipping
    Along sun swallowed scars
    Digressing to dodge something tame
    And the little girl we aim
    To please
    You'll surely shake in your shoes
    When I tell you all things true
    Mustn't end with such a bang
    Except that little girl we aim
    To please
    Tuesday, September 30th, 2003
    7:00 pm
    Raped and Rewarded
    Of all the painters
    In heaven’s kingdom
    My sight found
    Those droopy eyes
    Jesus was a manic
    An insomniac too
    His pet flagellum
    Swimming for the sky
    And of all the painters
    In God’s green kingdom
    I found an answer
    I found severed bliss

    Love is suicide
    I hold this true
    It’s all I’ve found
    From wanting you
    Love is suicide
    Especially you

    My friends, the sinners
    And their dated age
    They’re decades fast
    But so far behind
    Perfect patterns
    Outlining the sky
    And of books and men
    I’m only afraid
    Ringing with justice
    And nothing true
    All of my pain
    Is screaming for you

    Love is suicide
    I hold this true
    It’s all I’ve found
    From wanting you
    Love is suicide
    Especially you

    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    What I did and what I’ve become
    How I died is my mystery
    Monday, September 29th, 2003
    8:09 pm
    Sugar & Spice and Eternity
    Sell your dreams and wishes
    For pies and lies and spies
    And children who spy for lies
    And their fair share of pies
    Spread romance for pearls
    And buy pearls for romance
    No man is this cheap
    No man is so free

    And forever, forever
    It’s cheap as ever
    Forever, forever
    Is all so much, for less
    Forever

    Smashed trinkets and toys
    And upset that little boy
    He still lives inside you
    And he screams when you lose
    Die for that little boy
    And let him be free
    Children aren’t so bored
    Children aren’t so free

    And forever, forever
    It’s cheap as ever
    Forever, forever
    Is all so much, for less
    Forever

    Pollute the children’s minds
    They don’t know but lies
    And they can sell you out
    For dreams, wishes, pies, lies
    Squeeze all bones you see
    All children have to eat
    No rock is this lucky
    No rock is this wet

    And forever, forever
    It’s cheap as ever
    Forever, forever
    Is all so much, for less
    Forever

    Speak of what you’ve done
    But don’t watch what you say
    The little boys will get you
    The little boys will get you

    Current Mood: disappointed
    Current Music: The Smashing Pumpkins - The Sacred and Profane
    Saturday, September 27th, 2003
    8:54 pm
    I'm not ugly; I'm just drawn that way.
    ugly
    You are The Ugly One. No one really likes you. You
    have Scorisis. You are actully crazy! YOu'll
    never get a boyfriend. Maybe someday you'll get
    better friends. Or maybe not.


    Which Teen Girls Squad Member are you?
    brought to you by Quizilla
    Thursday, September 25th, 2003
    7:45 pm
    Nothing (Paige, if you think this is about you, you have a bigger ego than I)
    The men of straw
    And the men with wings
    Meet every night to speak
    Of unspeakable things
    Dead gods and
    Suicidal love

    Broken, mended socks
    Broken glass for the rat
    Chewed you up
    Spit you out whole
    You know, you know
    You know your loss

    The kind of seamless
    Time that begs to differ
    Meshed with supper
    And drowned in hot
    Forgetting cold
    And nights like this

    Broken, mended socks
    Broken glass for the rat
    Chewed you up
    Spit you out whole
    You know, you know
    You know your loss


    And for all the no-bodys
    For all the boneless babes
    You know what you’ll feel
    You know what you’ll get
    And for that I envy you
    For you I envy that


    The dream kingdom that is
    Your hollow death
    Where will you show
    The romantics their hearts?
    Destroy the mind, Burn the soul
    Plant poison in your heart

    They’ve stoned you
    And they showed you
    They’ve stoned you
    And showed you who’s right
    They’ve stoned you
    And they’ve shown you
    You can’t forget
    What they look like

    On the other side of death
    In land or in sea
    What will you do
    With the tortured souls?
    Destroy the body, Burn the mind
    Plant poison in the heart

    They’ve stoned you
    And they showed you
    They’ve stoned you
    And showed you who’s right
    They’ve stoned you
    And they’ve shown you
    You can’t forget
    What they look like


    And for all the no-bodys
    For all the boneless babes
    You know what you’ll feel
    You know what you’ll get
    And for that I envy you
    For you I envy that


    The boy is woken
    By the arms of sleep
    His jackboots beside him
    His head in their place
    He’s led by the boots
    And led by the sound

    He coughs out an answer
    And falls back asleep
    He’ll wake up later
    To blasts of a bleat

    On the other side
    Lies the same woman
    Her man beside him
    Her arms in his place
    She’s led by his head
    And led by the sound

    She coughs out an answer
    And falls back asleep
    She’ll wake up later
    To blasts of the bleat

    He needs them tonight
    She needs him tonight
    They play the gun
    Of a safe Saturnine
    They need each other
    As they need the blast
    Of a bleat
    4:53 pm
    So today is apparently LivJournalist appreciation day.

    Well, fuck you. All of you.





    Ahhh...nothing like blind teenage angst in the morning...er, afternoon.
    Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
    9:06 pm
    The Queens
    The darker side of wisdom
    Is the better side of you
    The crueler side of love
    Is the only side there was
    And I gave it away
    I let you see my me
    I gave you away
    I let you see too much

    We built a fire
    An effigy of you
    To break your fall

    You can’t burn souls in the wind
    Can’t burn souls in the snow
    You can’t burn shit in the wind
    But you can burn in me

    And we’re not worried
    For what we have next
    It’s not the past but the end
    That makes dark men wise
    And you gave it away
    You let me see me
    I gave you away
    You let me see too much

    We built a fire
    An effigy of you
    To break your fall

    And I know how to whimper
    I know how to end the world
    I know how to explode
    But I know how to whimper
    And this is how I left you there
    This is how I want you now
    This Is how I’ll leave myself
    With not a blind eye
    With not a dry eye

    I’ll show myself the way out
    And leave my scorn on you
    Happy, pink, burns, scars
    You’ll have more for me
    And we gave it away
    We let you see me
    You gave me away
    We let you see too much

    We built a fire
    An effigy of you
    To break your fall
    8:30 pm
    It
    The desolate Other Day
    Barren and just dust
    Flashes of electricity
    Lighting up the world
    Arid air that is home
    Makes us feel dry
    And doomed

    Only if we stick around
    Only if we cannot leave
    Only if we want to stay
    Only if I trust man
    And myself

    It’s amazing what it is
    And is not, was not
    We were what it is
    What it is, what it’s not

    The eyes are not here
    The eyes cannot see
    Bring me up to the light
    And show me once again
    What these eyes can do
    Why jaws are broken
    And wired

    Only if we stick around
    Only if we cannot leave
    Only if we want to stay
    Only if I trust man
    And myself

    A nickel and a ride
    Takes you so far away
    A magic year, magic time
    But melting all the same
    Somewhere we’ll tear
    Walls and clocks for
    Thine is Love

    Only if we stick around
    Only if we cannot leave
    Only if we want to stay
    Only if I trust man
    And myself

    Magnificent it is
    And never was not
    And it is what it is
    And what you were not
    It is all, and it is God
    Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003
    8:43 pm
    Psychopath
    And she’s still crying
    She’s guilty as charged
    Serving me
    Changing her and
    Changing him
    Too much time has been given

    Just to give it all away
    Just to hear me say
    “I’m looking to learn
    I’m looking to be alone”
    Never will I hear those words

    A man's fallen back
    He's just one step out
    And he knows
    It's all on him now
    It's all for him
    A man’s obsessed with giving up
    He never thought it was enough
    And so he's given up

    She’s still crying
    He’s still fighting
    All the dreams for
    Her to breathe

    Just to give it all away
    Just to hear me say
    “I‘m afraid of you
    But I cannot run”
    Never will I hear those words

    She’s still so
    Fucking observant
    She sees what she
    Doesn’t even know I see
    She still lies
    Like giving gifts
    A second nature
    It’s what she feels
    It’s what she caught

    Just to give it all away
    Just to hear me say
    “I‘ll catch you first
    Before I let you fall”
    Never will I hear those words

    Looking through the words I wasted
    Looking at the glass I’ve missed
    Looking at the mess you’ve left
    It’s so cold, it’s so

    She’s so much alike
    She doesn’t realize
    What she is
    She’s just like what
    She wants from me
    Thousands of years old, so cold

    Just to give it all away
    Just to hear me say
    “I‘m so damn hungry
    I‘m so goddamn cold”
    Never will I hear those words
    Monday, September 22nd, 2003
    1:04 pm
    currents...
    wearing: White t-shirt that say "If grunge is dead, how do you explain that shit in my shower?" Man, I love undershirts and Sharpies. Also, same jeans as always.
    tail of the day: *looks behind* Air?
    eating/drinking: Pepsi
    candy: Crispy M&Ms Or Twix.
    subsequent tongue colour: Pink, I suppose
    injury: *punches self* Bloody nose
    i just finished: Writing "*punches self* Bloody nose"
    i'm just about to: take a shower
    thinking about: Being on stage with Antihero
    avoiding: taking a shower
    talking to: Er...no one.
    puny hate/annoyance: Bugs
    puny love/lust: Lisa Bonet...fuck, she's beautiful
    lyrics: "[indistinct]" Tourette's - Nirvana
    12:37 pm
    I know, I know, I'm not Clockwork. But it was my first choice, damn you!
    <td bgcolor="#000000">lj name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">your best friend thinks</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">he loves you </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">your family think</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">you could be a god </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">strangers think</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">you're lickable </td></tr>
    what do they really think of you by purple
    Created with quill18's MemeGen!
    Sunday, September 21st, 2003
    8:12 pm
    I'm sick of people thinking I'm angry, and bitter.

    I'm sick of people thinking they know me, but not knowing me at all. I know, I know, I sound really fucking cliche right now. But I don't get pissed off at the world very often, so let me be an angsta-gangsta for now. I'm just sick of people. I'm sick of men. I'm sick of teens. I'm sick of people thinking they're better than me. I'm sick of people wanting to be like me. I'm sick having to hear people bitch like I am now. I'm sick of making people listen to me bitch. I'm sick of the entire fucking world.

    I want to be a hermit, I want to kill myself, but fuck that, I've got shit to do. I've got shit to slap people across the face with, I've got shit to get done. I wish I could just disappear, but I've got shit to get out, I've got music to make. I've got art. I need to get that out. And when I'm finally sick of it all, I'll disappear.

    I'm not angry, and bitter; I'm cynical, and jaded.


    I don't have a low self-esteem, but I'm filth. I don't want to be happy; I tried that, and fuck it. I'm sick of being blind and ignorant.

    Which is actually what the song I wrote today is about, I suppose. How sick I am of everything.

    Current Mood: sick
    Current Music: The Smashing Pumpkins - XYU
    5:56 pm
    Book-Burners and Milked Bulls
    A special bugle call
    Awakens all the men
    From their trees
    Leper’s screeching pain
    Vanishes into dreams
    For the men
    And they’re marching
    They’re marching
    Marching past the trees
    And the wind

    Scowling down on you
    Scorned, jaded, surging filth
    Hated for the way
    It dissolves you
    In waterfalls

    A futile searching game
    Finds nothing but dust and
    Dirty rocks
    The party house collapsed
    Turned the dusty dirt into
    Confetti
    And they’re marching
    They’re marching
    Marching past the dust
    And the boys

    Scowling down on you
    Scorned, jaded, surging filth
    Hated for the way
    It dissolves you
    In waterfalls

    Over you, a lonely dove
    Bought by renounced love
    Cliché curing spells
    Naïve little boys
    Surrounded
    Surrounded again
    Crowned and
    Denounced again
    Two by two and
    Lonely again
    Animosity
    Queen of Amity
    A horrific whore
    A harlot’s ghoul
    A glove, a glove

    Scowling down on you
    Scorned, jaded, surging filth
    Hated for the way
    It dissolves you
    In waterfalls
    In waterfalls
    Over oasis
    In waterfalls
    Entrapment
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