Eliot

Updating so it doesn't delete due to inactivity!

2006-05-11T23:42:55Z

EA Sports Fight Night Round 3 makes me wish I were born a woman so I could have sex with things.

Boom!

2004-06-17T00:51:31Z

Tough actin' Tinactin!

squeebothorass @ 2003-10-13T19:09:00

2003-10-14T01:09:26Z

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and that one hermaphrodite standing in the back:

My new LiveJournal is Cirrhosis

The Lost Boys Know (Final Draft)

2003-10-12T04:25:14Z

Fast kids in cars
Your kid's gonna be next
To chew you up
And swallow you whole
And meet your exit soul

Growin' up fast
We've all got jackboots now
We're movin' out
To find our crowns
And meet our selves again

But if you ever want to
Follow your way back
To last year's come and gone
Know you're too far gone

And last memory
I have of me
Was something a bit old
Yeah, one last piece
More for me
It's something a bit old

Masterpieces on a high-wire
Fallen angels down below
And all they were
All they desire
All they are is me
I let them down, as they did me

But if you ever want to
Follow your way back
To last year's come and gone
You know you're too far gone

Know me, for all I am
Hear me, for I’m deafening
Know your demons
They’re all you are
All you are lies in your ghouls

Growin' up fast
We've all got jackboots now
We're movin' out
To find our crowns
And meet our selves again

Man, I never would've thought I would say this, but, "OMG!! THA IZ SOOOO MEE!!"

2003-10-09T19:48:01Z

OMG!!! THAT TURDEL IZ SOOOO MEE!!! LYK OMG!!!!!!1one" and so on and so forth. Eat shit.

You are Raphael...People call you a cynic. You
prefer the term, "realist." You are
tough as nails and anti-social. You are the
coolest turtle in my humble opinion :)

Which Ninja Turtle Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh, it's like Paige, too. Except Paige isn't tough. She's cute. *prepares to get kicked*

Morphine Man

2003-10-09T02:11:15Z

Winter's straight edge
A lonely snow shower
Only around your muse
Only around your mistake
Like the face of death
Staring down your throat
Only around your muse
Only around you

Men in lemon lab coats
Trapping thunder
Leaning together
And short of breath
Screaming at the weather
It never quits raining

She counted each flake
That fell inside her
Only around her fuse
Only around her fire
She thought she saw God
In each that brushed her face
Only around her fuse
Only around her

Men in lemon lab coats
Trapping thunder
Leaning together
And short of breath
Screaming at the weather
It never quits raining

She drags her energy
With her where she goes
She keeps it on her leash
And her back is so cold
She drags it behind her
She snows in the wind

Men in lemon lab coats
Trapping thunder
Leaning together
And short of breath
Screaming at the weather
It never quits raining

She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her

In this underworld
She really did see God
It wasn’t in her desire
But full of rosy cheeks
She never would’ve thought
The snow would fall here
But where there’s cold, there’s fire
Where there’s God, there’s death

She crossed the Phantom river
To a land of slivered ghosts
An island of dry lizard skin
A king of kingdom come

In her underworld
Her walls bled with birth
If not in leaky wisdom
Then in fabled ghosts
It was here that she learned
The snow only falls once
And where there’s ghosts, there’s spirit
Where there’s God, there’s death

She flew to burning mountains
To a peak of burning fuel
Sky of crimson sufferings
A king of kingdom come

In my underworld
I wish she would fall
Into arms of child-birth
Borne three times again
In the future she will find
It’s too warm for snow
And where there’s birth, there’s women
Where there’s God, there’s death

Ascending to a plain sky
A plane on clouds of dust
Over land of new beginnings
Future love and mistrust

As growing old she weakens
But strengthens her own soul
And it’s here her discovery
Is misplaced by thoughts of old
And founded through God and love
She thought she was God
Toying with the bastards
Of her own misaligned thought
She thinks she’s gone insane
She struggles with a new sum
And choking on escape
On the threshold of freedom
She thinks of all the sheep
Lambs, and billy-goats
That couldn’t find truth in her
That couldn’t seek her truth
She knows they will know her
She knows they will kill her
She’s not afraid of what’s next
She’s not afraid of dark waters
With a kiss on revenge’s head
She does what she’s been told
And only when she wakes up
Will she find her new cold

In this underworld
She really did see God
It wasn’t in her desire
But full of rosy cheeks
She never would’ve thought
The snow would fall here
But where there’s cold, there’s fire
Where there’s God, there’s death

She crossed the Phantom river
To a land of slivered ghosts
An island of dry lizard skin
A king of kingdom come

In her underworld
Her walls bled with birth
If not in leaky wisdom
Then in fabled ghosts
It was here that she learned
The snow only falls once
And where there’s ghosts, there’s spirit
Where there’s God, there’s death

She flew to burning mountains
To a peak of burning fuel
Sky of crimson sufferings
A king of kingdom come

In my underworld
I wish she would fall
Into arms of child-birth
Borne three times again
In the future she will find
It’s too warm for snow
And where there’s birth, there’s women
Where there’s God, there’s death

Ascending to a plain sky
A plane on clouds of dust
Over land of new beginnings
Future love and mistrust

It’s not the truth that scares her
But the thought that brings her down
If it’s not true, what can she live for?
If it’s not real, then what is truth?
And her demons can surely have her
Her ghouls can gladly eat her

She sleeps not to her own hand
But to the hand of herself

With a blurry grievance to her own
She thinks of what she lost
She knows he won’t be there
But she knows he will wait
And her demons can surely have her
Her ghouls can gladly eat

She sleeps not to her own hand
But to the hand of herself

She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her
She counted each flake
That fell inside her.

squeebothorass @ 2003-10-03T20:34:00

2003-10-04T02:34:39Z

Seer

The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

Which reminds me; you're gay, but you don't know it yet.

Martyrdom

2003-10-03T21:03:11Z

This is how the world will fold
In such majestic pre-show
Like all we want, all we crave
And the little girl we aim
To please
I've shown them how names will grow
Chew them up, spit them out whole
With dagger teeth on their grave
For the little girl we aim
To please
Fighting for a record, skipping
Along sun swallowed scars
Digressing to dodge something tame
And the little girl we aim
To please
You'll surely shake in your shoes
When I tell you all things true
Mustn't end with such a bang
Except that little girl we aim
To please

Raped and Rewarded

2003-10-01T01:01:01Z

Of all the painters
In heaven’s kingdom
My sight found
Those droopy eyes
Jesus was a manic
An insomniac too
His pet flagellum
Swimming for the sky
And of all the painters
In God’s green kingdom
I found an answer
I found severed bliss

Love is suicide
I hold this true
It’s all I’ve found
From wanting you
Love is suicide
Especially you

My friends, the sinners
And their dated age
They’re decades fast
But so far behind
Perfect patterns
Outlining the sky
And of books and men
I’m only afraid
Ringing with justice
And nothing true
All of my pain
Is screaming for you

Love is suicide
I hold this true
It’s all I’ve found
From wanting you
Love is suicide
Especially you

What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
What I did and what I’ve become
How I died is my mystery

Sugar & Spice and Eternity

2003-09-30T02:09:30Z

Sell your dreams and wishes
For pies and lies and spies
And children who spy for lies
And their fair share of pies
Spread romance for pearls
And buy pearls for romance
No man is this cheap
No man is so free

And forever, forever
It’s cheap as ever
Forever, forever
Is all so much, for less
Forever

Smashed trinkets and toys
And upset that little boy
He still lives inside you
And he screams when you lose
Die for that little boy
And let him be free
Children aren’t so bored
Children aren’t so free

And forever, forever
It’s cheap as ever
Forever, forever
Is all so much, for less
Forever

Pollute the children’s minds
They don’t know but lies
And they can sell you out
For dreams, wishes, pies, lies
Squeeze all bones you see
All children have to eat
No rock is this lucky
No rock is this wet

And forever, forever
It’s cheap as ever
Forever, forever
Is all so much, for less
Forever

Speak of what you’ve done
But don’t watch what you say
The little boys will get you
The little boys will get you

I'm not ugly; I'm just drawn that way.

2003-09-28T02:54:47Z

You are The Ugly One. No one really likes you. You
have Scorisis. You are actully crazy! YOu'll
never get a boyfriend. Maybe someday you'll get
better friends. Or maybe not.

Which Teen Girls Squad Member are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nothing (Paige, if you think this is about you, you have a bigger ego than I)

2003-09-26T01:46:08Z

The men of straw
And the men with wings
Meet every night to speak
Of unspeakable things
Dead gods and
Suicidal love

Broken, mended socks
Broken glass for the rat
Chewed you up
Spit you out whole
You know, you know
You know your loss

The kind of seamless
Time that begs to differ
Meshed with supper
And drowned in hot
Forgetting cold
And nights like this

Broken, mended socks
Broken glass for the rat
Chewed you up
Spit you out whole
You know, you know
You know your loss

And for all the no-bodys
For all the boneless babes
You know what you’ll feel
You know what you’ll get
And for that I envy you
For you I envy that

The dream kingdom that is
Your hollow death
Where will you show
The romantics their hearts?
Destroy the mind, Burn the soul
Plant poison in your heart

They’ve stoned you
And they showed you
They’ve stoned you
And showed you who’s right
They’ve stoned you
And they’ve shown you
You can’t forget
What they look like

On the other side of death
In land or in sea
What will you do
With the tortured souls?
Destroy the body, Burn the mind
Plant poison in the heart

They’ve stoned you
And they showed you
They’ve stoned you
And showed you who’s right
They’ve stoned you
And they’ve shown you
You can’t forget
What they look like

And for all the no-bodys
For all the boneless babes
You know what you’ll feel
You know what you’ll get
And for that I envy you
For you I envy that

The boy is woken
By the arms of sleep
His jackboots beside him
His head in their place
He’s led by the boots
And led by the sound

He coughs out an answer
And falls back asleep
He’ll wake up later
To blasts of a bleat

On the other side
Lies the same woman
Her man beside him
Her arms in his place
She’s led by his head
And led by the sound

She coughs out an answer
And falls back asleep
She’ll wake up later
To blasts of the bleat

He needs them tonight
She needs him tonight
They play the gun
Of a safe Saturnine
They need each other
As they need the blast
Of a bleat

squeebothorass @ 2003-09-25T16:53:00

2003-09-25T22:53:57Z

So today is apparently LivJournalist appreciation day.

Well, fuck you. All of you.

Ahhh...nothing like blind teenage angst in the morning...er, afternoon.

The Queens

2003-09-25T03:06:28Z

The darker side of wisdom
Is the better side of you
The crueler side of love
Is the only side there was
And I gave it away
I let you see my me
I gave you away
I let you see too much

We built a fire
An effigy of you
To break your fall

You can’t burn souls in the wind
Can’t burn souls in the snow
You can’t burn shit in the wind
But you can burn in me

And we’re not worried
For what we have next
It’s not the past but the end
That makes dark men wise
And you gave it away
You let me see me
I gave you away
You let me see too much

We built a fire
An effigy of you
To break your fall

And I know how to whimper
I know how to end the world
I know how to explode
But I know how to whimper
And this is how I left you there
This is how I want you now
This Is how I’ll leave myself
With not a blind eye
With not a dry eye

I’ll show myself the way out
And leave my scorn on you
Happy, pink, burns, scars
You’ll have more for me
And we gave it away
We let you see me
You gave me away
We let you see too much

We built a fire
An effigy of you
To break your fall

It

2003-09-25T02:30:56Z

The desolate Other Day
Barren and just dust
Flashes of electricity
Lighting up the world
Arid air that is home
Makes us feel dry
And doomed

Only if we stick around
Only if we cannot leave
Only if we want to stay
Only if I trust man
And myself

It’s amazing what it is
And is not, was not
We were what it is
What it is, what it’s not

The eyes are not here
The eyes cannot see
Bring me up to the light
And show me once again
What these eyes can do
Why jaws are broken
And wired

Only if we stick around
Only if we cannot leave
Only if we want to stay
Only if I trust man
And myself

A nickel and a ride
Takes you so far away
A magic year, magic time
But melting all the same
Somewhere we’ll tear
Walls and clocks for
Thine is Love

Only if we stick around
Only if we cannot leave
Only if we want to stay
Only if I trust man
And myself

Magnificent it is
And never was not
And it is what it is
And what you were not
It is all, and it is God

Psychopath

2003-09-24T02:43:39Z

And she’s still crying
She’s guilty as charged
Serving me
Changing her and
Changing him
Too much time has been given

Just to give it all away
Just to hear me say
“I’m looking to learn
I’m looking to be alone”
Never will I hear those words

A man's fallen back
He's just one step out
And he knows
It's all on him now
It's all for him
A man’s obsessed with giving up
He never thought it was enough
And so he's given up

She’s still crying
He’s still fighting
All the dreams for
Her to breathe

Just to give it all away
Just to hear me say
“I‘m afraid of you
But I cannot run”
Never will I hear those words

She’s still so
Fucking observant
She sees what she
Doesn’t even know I see
She still lies
Like giving gifts
A second nature
It’s what she feels
It’s what she caught

Just to give it all away
Just to hear me say
“I‘ll catch you first
Before I let you fall”
Never will I hear those words

Looking through the words I wasted
Looking at the glass I’ve missed
Looking at the mess you’ve left
It’s so cold, it’s so

She’s so much alike
She doesn’t realize
What she is
She’s just like what
She wants from me
Thousands of years old, so cold

Just to give it all away
Just to hear me say
“I‘m so damn hungry
I‘m so goddamn cold”
Never will I hear those words

squeebothorass @ 2003-09-22T13:04:00

2003-09-22T19:08:33Z

currents...
wearing: White t-shirt that say "If grunge is dead, how do you explain that shit in my shower?" Man, I love undershirts and Sharpies. Also, same jeans as always.
tail of the day: *looks behind* Air?
eating/drinking: Pepsi
candy: Crispy M&Ms Or Twix.
subsequent tongue colour: Pink, I suppose
injury: *punches self* Bloody nose
i just finished: Writing "*punches self* Bloody nose"
i'm just about to: take a shower
thinking about: Being on stage with Antihero
avoiding: taking a shower
talking to: Er...no one.
puny hate/annoyance: Bugs
puny love/lust: Lisa Bonet...fuck, she's beautiful
lyrics: "[indistinct]" Tourette's - Nirvana

I know, I know, I'm not Clockwork. But it was my first choice, damn you!

2003-09-22T18:37:21Z

<td bgcolor="#000000">lj name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">sex</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">your best friend thinks</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">he loves you </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">your family think</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">you could be a god </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">strangers think</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">you're lickable </td></tr>

what do they really think of you by purple

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

squeebothorass @ 2003-09-21T20:12:00

2003-09-22T02:17:35Z

I'm sick of people thinking I'm angry, and bitter.

I'm sick of people thinking they know me, but not knowing me at all. I know, I know, I sound really fucking cliche right now. But I don't get pissed off at the world very often, so let me be an angsta-gangsta for now. I'm just sick of people. I'm sick of men. I'm sick of teens. I'm sick of people thinking they're better than me. I'm sick of people wanting to be like me. I'm sick having to hear people bitch like I am now. I'm sick of making people listen to me bitch. I'm sick of the entire fucking world.

I want to be a hermit, I want to kill myself, but fuck that, I've got shit to do. I've got shit to slap people across the face with, I've got shit to get done. I wish I could just disappear, but I've got shit to get out, I've got music to make. I've got art. I need to get that out. And when I'm finally sick of it all, I'll disappear.

I'm not angry, and bitter; I'm cynical, and jaded.

I don't have a low self-esteem, but I'm filth. I don't want to be happy; I tried that, and fuck it. I'm sick of being blind and ignorant.

Which is actually what the song I wrote today is about, I suppose. How sick I am of everything.

Book-Burners and Milked Bulls

2003-09-21T23:59:20Z

A special bugle call
Awakens all the men
From their trees
Leper’s screeching pain
Vanishes into dreams
For the men
And they’re marching
They’re marching
Marching past the trees
And the wind

Scowling down on you
Scorned, jaded, surging filth
Hated for the way
It dissolves you
In waterfalls

A futile searching game
Finds nothing but dust and
Dirty rocks
The party house collapsed
Turned the dusty dirt into
Confetti
And they’re marching
They’re marching
Marching past the dust
And the boys

Scowling down on you
Scorned, jaded, surging filth
Hated for the way
It dissolves you
In waterfalls

Over you, a lonely dove
Bought by renounced love
Cliché curing spells
Naïve little boys
Surrounded
Surrounded again
Crowned and
Denounced again
Two by two and
Lonely again
Animosity
Queen of Amity
A horrific whore
A harlot’s ghoul
A glove, a glove

Scowling down on you
Scorned, jaded, surging filth
Hated for the way
It dissolves you
In waterfalls
In waterfalls
Over oasis
In waterfalls
Entrapment

I suppose this means I'm sane.

2003-09-21T04:26:03Z

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Quick Change for the Better

2003-09-21T03:26:01Z

I wrote a series of songs entitled Quick Change For The Better, Quick Change For The Better: Part Two, Quick Change For The Better: The Bitter End, and Quick Change For The Better: Resurrected and Feelign Fine. I've combined them into one.

The Earth tilts away
And I can't help but trade
My every lost feeling
For you
It's a nice surprise
But I accept it
My time of year's
Faded away

I left with a nice piece
Of the way I was
I never looked back
But I reminisce
I'd be lying
To say good riddance
Nonetheless
You're a piece of me
Now

I can't help the way it moves
Me
I wish I could have one last day
To see
The way everyone lost me

I find myself gone
But never quit
I'll be back around
Some year
It's the truth
I miss you
But I have to
Move on

I left with a nice piece
Of the way I was
I never looked back
But I reminisce
I'd be lying
To say good riddance
Nonetheless
You're a piece of me
Now

I can't help the way it moves
Me
I wish I could have one last day
To see
The way everyone lost me

Land of forgotten
Tale of the begotten
It's so far away
So far back
Too far back
But not too far away
To change

I left with a nice piece
Of the way I was
I never looked back
But I reminisce
I'd be lying
To say good riddance
Nonetheless
You're a piece of me
Now

I can't help the way it moves
Me
I wish I could have one last day
To see
The way everyone lost me

I can't help the way it moves
Me
I wish I could have one last day
To see
The way everyone lost me

Never look back
Never feel guilt
But feel loved
Only when it's
True

Life the ultimate enemy
Sold out to all of us
Death the ultimate escape
Yet hesitant we charge

And on my toadstool
I follow my own rules
And under my nails
I know it's all so frail
But I know
I can never fail
Thanks to
The motivation of
My wrongs

Dreaming faintly
To find an answer
Answers we're not
Ready to solve
But we venture
We won't learn
Yet we see it
And we run

Life the ultimate enemy
Sold out to all of us
Death the ultimate escape
Yet hesitant we charge

And thanks to you
I can make my rules
And only now, now
I can get it done
So long
Don't follow me
Papa's got his
Brand new set of
Wings

And what'll we do now
We're perfect, and so bored
It looks like happiness
Ain't all it's said to be
Or is it that I'm talking
Not you, only me
Not you, only me
That's all that matters
To me

Life the ultimate enemy
Sold out to all of us
Death the ultimate escape
Yet hesitant we charge

I feel like I'm in love again
I know this feeling from my head
I can't help but let it fade
It can't last longer than me
It can't
Last

One foot out the door
I know this is the right choice
But I
Gotta bite the breeze
Before I die

And my time is up
I know I’m wrong
But I’m so undone
Can’t help but know
What’s next

Although I’m just like you
I’m not with you
I’m wondering
How you
Could cost so much

And taken down
Alone, around, now
I remember
How much
You were never there

And my time is up
I know I’m wrong
But I’m so undone
Can’t help but know
What’s next

And I should just sleep
Until the sun comes up
And think past all
I’ve left behind
I’ve loved what’s behind
For far too long

One foot out the door
I know this is the right chocie
But I
Gotta bite the breeze
Before I die

But it’s so hard
Doin’ it alone

Can I be myself again
Can I pay my only friend
Can I be with them again
Without knowing what’s next

And my time is up
I know I’m wrong
But I’m so undone
Can’t help but know
What’s next

Am I one to wonder?
Just where you are now
Is my face any older?
Too old to relate
Do you really need those gloves?
Aren’t I protected enough?

I chased myself
From my own house
My home and heart
My youth, my youth

I’ve made an effigy
But I can’t burn you
In the rain and snow

When should I return?
Too far gone, way too long
Can I face your knight?
And be an honest fate
Is dreaming all there was?
Does it lie behind the dunes?

I chased myself
From my own house
My home and heart
My youth, my youth

I’ve cooked a meal
But I can’t eat you
Without saying grace

(echoed)
It’s a distinct voice
With a distinct plan
Such an honest boy
Such an honest men

And you’ve traveled
You’ve traveled too far
Just to see us again
Just to try to pretend
It’s been too long
Too long to pretend
That you want to
Want to see us again
And you are

I chased myself
From my own house
My home and heart
My youth, my youth

Divinity, Divinity

2003-09-20T03:20:55Z

Forty hours and
Forty whores
Severed heads in
My sock drawers
The blood is dripping, dripping, dripping
He’s still rhyming, rhyming, rhyming
He’s in love

Blood-sucking eels
Leaches in your meals
Paid tour of pain
It’s fading away

Clearly uncut
Cocaine addict
Jaded life for
All she’s lived for
Nothing left of her, Nothing, Nothing
Fed her limbs to herself, herself, herself
She dreams red

Blood-sucking eels
Leaches in your meals
Paid tour of pain
It’s fading away

So she’s in love with him
She can never be him
But she knows she’s right
She can’t find a better one
For her to be
She’s not in love with him
Doesn’t want to be with him
But she can’t find a better one
A better man, a better one
So it’s up to her

Forty hours and
Forty whores
Severed heads in
My sock drawers
Clearly uncut
Cocaine addict
Jaded life for
All she’s lived for

Blood-sucking eels
Leaches in your meals
Paid tour of pain
It’s fading away

Grace, God, Grace

2003-09-20T03:19:26Z

Sly lover
Slinking like the lynx
You are
Shy lover
Blushing like the brush
That paints red
Foolish lover
Wishing, wishing, wishing
For what cannot be
Foolish lover
Is what you are

Smiled for a
Western gal
Sold my soul for
A lost cause
And blown away

Cry lover
Get it out while
You can
Tried lover
Been through me an
My torture
Foolish lover
Tripping, tripping, tripping
Towards the words
You cannot be

Smiled for a
Western gal
Sold my soul for
A lost cause
And blown away

(Hit Me) One Inch Higher

2003-09-20T03:18:54Z

She don't wanna be produced
She's on our airtime
She's entertainment
She's quite the show
For the slow

She leaves you around
For more than you need

She's got the
Same old gift
She'd love to share
But she's so old

She can't help but be bored
This world is hers
What would she do
Where would she hold
Anymore?

She leaves you around
For more than you need

She's got the
Same old gift
She'd love to share
But she's so old

Transform her
Into tjhe angel rock
You want
Litter on her
Make her bleed black
And blue
The colors of her soul

She is still brand new
Appearing late nights
In front of you
But not for you
Still got it

She's got the
Same old gift
She'd love to share
But she's so old